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Ever heard the saying, 'They've got money out the wazoo'? Like many of us, I once suffered from empty wazoo syndrome. Then I read a book by Eckhart Tolle -- 'The Power of Now'. I quote -- "You have everything you need to be spiritually complete right now."

Eckhart Tolle puts on a baseball cap and sneaks into Starbucks for an illicit coffee*. Anyway he's not philosophizing but spiritualizing. Just like all those guys in the robe and the beard and shaggy hair? And sandals?

Or bare feet. But Tolle wears shoes. And drinks coffee. Obviously a hard case. I wouldn't trust him as far as I can throw a wazoo. Why, he not only doesn't wear robes but has neatly trimmed hair and only a partial beard. How spiritual could he be, looking like that?

I ask you. I'm not getting any answer. Is this thing on? Test. Test. Oh. You mean this is a print book? That is so last millennium.

* I got this dirt from Eckhart Tolle in the recording of 'Living a Life of Inner Peace'.

He says live in the now. And the past is only a story that may be simply left on the shelf. Wait! Don't put this story on the shelf; you haven't read it all yet. Or have you? I read 'The Power of Now' about seventy-leven times. In a row.

So, just what is a wazoo, I hear you asking. I don't really hear voices. But I do put on a baseball cap and dark glasses to get a cup of coffee. Not at Starbucks, in my own kitchen. And a false beard and a robe. And sandals. Or bare feet.

We suspect that reality may be something best avoided. But our attempts to avoid consciousness of the present moment create the problem we're trying to escape from. True reality is simply the here and now, without all the mental labels, regrets of the past and fears of the future that are only in our own heads. Just drop all that. Try it. Just for a minute. You can go back and pick up all that mental junk anytime.

Hopefully you will spend more and more time in the present, um, as time goes by. It is hard to put some of this into words. As in modern physics, reality tends to go against 'common sense'. We are the eyes and ears of the Universe. And the noses and throats of the Universe. And, of course, the wazoos of the Universe. Apparently this marks the end of the no joke zone.

So I was walking in the woods and this deer stamps his feet and makes that call, bugling, I believe, and runs off with the white tail flashing. Maybe that's to distract from the does and fawns. Couple a days later I come along the same trail and the deer simply turns and walks away. As the buck walks away he says to the others, "It's just that human guy. He's harmless."

Okay, he said that with body language, not words. Had you going there for a minute though. What is the sound of one deer talking? And, while I was in the woods, a tree fell nearby, but I wasn't listening.

Mr. Inkspot just dropped in. He was under the window I put up to keep the rain off after noticing him get under the neighbors window during a thunderstorm. He won't stay in though. I seem to have acquired another new pet. The cutest little rat came out into the back room. I scattered some sunflower seed under the dishwasher for him. He ran under there after performing a skidding turn just like in the cartoons. Amazing!

So I'm wondering what to write next and I look out the front door and there are hundreds of blackbirds on the lawn. Yes, I love Nature. Maw Nature, I call it. More homey than Mother Nature. You must think this house is a menagerie. It isn't.

Tolle says all you need is a still. When you have a still, noises don't matter. What? Stillness? Oh. Tolle says all you need is a stillness. Then you can enjoy the moonshine. Until the hangover -- What? Wrong again? Why don't they go read his books and leave me alone then?

It's okay, I've taken my medicine now. When I walk in the woods I don't need medicine. I become an awareness floating along through the trees. Alert to every sound. Bird song. Bucks belling. Bullfrogs croaking. Wolves howling. Elephants trumpeting. Bees buzzing. Crows cawing. Cows cooing. Butterflies bellowing . . . Um, I seem to have drifted away there. Wildflowers winking? Okay, I'll stop. Loons laughing. Yetis yodeling? All right. Okay. I've got it out of my system. Where was I?

A house is just a big, permanent tent. We're all camping out in Nature. We must lose that feeling of separateness. It will kill us. Just as we treat people of other countries or religions as objects to be destroyed, we see ourselves as separate objects so that we imagine we can destroy Nature and walk away. But where would we walk to?

The world is Nature. We are small creatures scurrying around on the surface of the dry land portion of the globe. Nature, though not malevolent, can and will swat us just like we swat mosquitoes. Or you might say we will swat ourselves. So far we haven't quite become irritating enough. Maybe tomorrow.

Rats don't race. All other creatures enjoy life. They're not trying to "get somewhere". We're already there. Hang up your helmet. Remove your racing stripes. You're in the winner's circle where we all started out from -- the planet Earth.

This also is the paradise, heaven, the Garden of Eden, when we choose to make it so. What are we waiting for? An engraved invitation?

Dear Humans,

This planet is yours, for now. Make the best of it.

Love,

God

There's your invitation. Now respondez, s'il vous plait.

You've heard them. Now. Not in the past. Not Hollywood. The extracted energy of ancient life forms liquified, powering visions of Tonka trucks for adults. At night, in the distance, you can hear the big beasts mourning their fate. All too soon they too shall sleep the endless sleep of those who are extinct.

Oops, almost slipped onto poetry there. Dangerous territory with slippery slopes leading to literary extinction. Mr. Mouse(the rat) just spooked the Mother Beast. She says we must get a live trap. (I insist on the live trap). Why not let the tiny thing be our guest?

Since she spotted the creature of the night I printed out what I've written so far. I await with bated breath her comments perspicacious. (Got from the library a collection of favorite poetry read by actors. That's why I started tawkin funny).

"Most Interesting," she said, "but I don't think we want a live guest." It's such a small creature. We had a cat. Ten solid pounds of live guest stomping around, bellowing for her breakfast. If the rat had only restrained its appetite till nine o'clock she would never have known, being an early bird herself. And a fish. We have a Siamese Fighting Fish. He's a non-combatant though. He was the cat's companion. They used to sit and stare at each other.

Sammy, the Siamese, is more of the contemplative type. He hovers motionless and stares into the light. He enjoys his weekly water change. A friendly follow. Quiet. Doesn't say much. Maybe he doesn't speak English.

House plants. Lots of house plants. Any more questions? Yes? You, in the back . . . Huh! What impertinence. No more questions.

I read 'The Power of Now' and thought, 'Oh, that's obvious. I'll put that into practice." And the next day would be totally lost in my usual chains of thought and emotion, in a bad mood and think, 'Wait a minute, what did that guy say in the book?' And read it again. Got to where I would put it on (on CD) and play it to soothe the savage breast at the end of the day.

Eventually I actually practiced the power of now and only occasionally lapse into the past, usually at 3 A.M. while waking and waiting and wondering what woke me and why, oh why, can't I sleep through the night?

That sentence stands alone. Who cares about sentence structure when we're on the verge of graduating from the mental to the spiritual level of awareness?

So I picked up a small stuffed animal and carried it into the den and said, "It's the mouse, I've caught him," and tossed it to her. We had a good(though nervous) laugh. Got to take frequent breaks from this here book writin'. 'S hard work.

Whew! Had to turn the heat back on. I usually turn it off around seven, us being such early birds, to let the house cool off before bedtime. But you, Reader, are keeping me up late with your incessant demands for more words. Do you know how many words there are in the average book? A lot, that's how many. A whole lot. (Maybe it is bedtime after all).

I know, I'll take my apple cores to the woods. The deer won't mind. I eat an apple a day to keep the doctor away. I see 'em sneaking up through the bushes around the house, brandishing their stethoscopes and fearsome blood pressure cuffs. So I quick! bite into an apple and they slink away saying, "Curses, foiled again."

Have you noticed animals acting however they want? A noted naturalist writes a respected tome on animal behavior and those rude beasts make the poor guy out to be a liar. Downright rude, I call it. Of course the animals say, "Those darned humans, very inventive sure, but a little closed minded. Bit of the idee fixe, no? We animals are not stuck in repetitious thought patterns. We have habits, sure. We go to where the food is, but if the food isn't there, we look elsewhere. Only a human goes back again and again to an empty well, such as finding fulfillment through intellectual endeavors, making money or attempting to control their surroundings. At least we animals don't do that."

What a madcap morning! First, no coffee made -- a cardinal sin (there seem to be more cardinals than usual this year. We see them not only at the feeder but waiting in line, so to speak, perched in the bushes and trees around) and my tiny house guest had broken into the bag of sunflower seed, leaving a trail of empty shells behind on the floor. What next? He'll probably leave the toilet seat up.

So I put the bag out back in one of those silly plastic chairs we never use. "But they were so cheap." That was me. I love a bargain. Little Inkspot is off his feed today. I'm sure he'll be okay. He's always been a happy cat.

Things are different, all right. Instead of worrying about the future, I try to improve the present. Why just today I got some dandruff shampoo. Wouldn't you know, my head quit itching on it's own. Maybe next time I'll simply intend to get the palliative. Then the condition, whatever it is, will clear up by itself.

We condescend to our little pets and yet they simply enjoy life while we stagger along under huge burdens of worry and dread and regrets and fears. They keep trying to tell us to relax and enjoy life. Why can't we be as sensible as our pets?

Not that we're sinking to the animal level. We're going above thought to the spiritual level. We all know about sinking below the level of thought, that's simply going to sleep. Above thought is a state of relaxed awareness. This is all in the books by Eckhart Tolle. I'm not plagiarizing his work, it's just that nothing has ever had such a profound impact on my life and I want to share that. I won't be angry if you drop this book right now and rush off to get his.

Wait! I was just kidding! Don't drop me! Ouch!

Guess I'll just leave the rest of these pages blank since everyone's rushed off to the bookstore. Oh all right, for those extremely few of you who remain . . . What would you like me to talk about? Speak up. Well, that's rather personal, isn't it? Went out to try to photograph Inkspot. I'll call him The Moving Cat. When he was very young he was never still. Now he naps but trying to get pictures of him with his eyes open . . .

Because I'm more relaxed, accepting the present moment as is, I'm more likely to go and do things to improve my life situation. And around the house I casually begin large jobs of cleaning say, or writing a book, without looking into the future and thinking what a lot of work it will be. Today I can only do one days work.

Going to Rosie's Restaurant. Not right now but in The Future. Which doesn't exist of course. They closed the bookstore downtown. 'Twas here when we moved here forty-two years ago. To me that was the main reason for going downtown.

Poor little Inkspot, he followed us into the front yard and looked around and went toward the porch with a lively step. Finally, he spotted Grandpa who was firmly ensconced on the welcome mat. Inkspot backed off fast. They have a cat spat going. Old Grumpy Gramps is an old alley cat with all the advantages of knowledge and experience. He's not at all nice, even to us, but we miss him when he goes a roaming.

Well, Patches came by for a bite, him and Inkspot used to play together but now it was all I could do to prevent a fight. The old macho thing of who backs away first. These cats show us how silly we are in that way. Of course they fight with claws and teeth whereas we have nukes and biological weapons. Still, we haven't actually used nukes for a long time.

Now Inkspot's under the pine tree. Him and Patches love that tree. And he nestles in the pine straw we put around the roses and snoozes. Nothing like a cat to keep you guessing.

Have I mentioned 'The Power of Now'? Cats do that. Ever see one so still but when you get close you see those ears twitching around at every sound?

Inkspot went off his feed for a while this afternoon. He's been the best about that. He even prefers the dry cat food to the more expensive canned variety. I get the Iams brand of dry food. The others eat it but no other dry food. Was a cat at the park I would feed. They'll befriend you if you're patient. 'Cept for Grandpa Kitty.

We had meatless stew tonight. Mushroom flavored rice from Lipton, great northern beans, canned stewed sliced tomatoes, green pepper, onion; just add water and heat. I found it most toothsome.

That last bag of Iams was stale. They make a larger, paper bag and a smaller bag of plastic. I've gotten the larger before and it was rated two paws up by the local cats(mostly Mr. Inkspot who actually prefers it to wet food), but this one must have had a small hole that let the freshness leak out. Why am I telling you this? This is life. Whatever goes on in your daily life is your life. After enlightenment you simply enjoy it more.

There was a man at the drugstore just now complaining about some mistake on the amount charged him. They corrected it. You could see that was the greatest satisfaction in his life. Very sad that. Imagine being wrapped up in such a thing and the doctor tells you you have a week to live. Would you spend that week fretting over a little mistake on a bill?

And most of us do something quite similar. If not money matters then dogs barking, traffic, neighbor kids, that gosh darned Internet; any of this ring a bell? None of it worth fretting about on your last week of life, or any other week.

Plan out your last week of life. Let's see -- get in touch with spiritual side of self, forgive everyone, forgive self, walk in park, enjoy yard or garden, eat all the ice cream I want . . . think I'll start with that one.

Now don't just drop everything. Do your work, pay your bills, but in a casual way, just in case the doctor gave you someone else's diagnosis.

Okay, put down that spoon, you've had enough. There are other enjoyable things besides ice cream. What things? Well, give me a minute, um . . . Nuts. Was just having some chocolate covered peanut clusters and some almonds and mixed nuts. That's good. And coffee.

Eckhart Tolle drinks coffee. So it must be all right. Finally a guy that doesn't just eat one bowl of rice a day and sit staring at a wall in what for most of us is an uncomfortable position. All that put me off in the past. What I do is hike up and down hills in the woods. That's my meditation.

Perhaps you're on the diet yo-yo. Find the happy medium between letting yourself go and being miserably hungry all the time. Or just be a happy fat person. Each of our paths is unique. I'm on the Caveman Diet and I feel great. No more indigestion. It works for me. You may find some other path because we humans are simply some of the threads which, woven together, form reality.

I know, too much theory, not enough cats. It's nighttime. In fact, bedtime rapidly approaches. So good night. Hey, can I borrow your reality blanket? Mine's all unraveled.

Saw Inkspot briefly this morning. It was sleeting outside so he retreated to the basement. Whiskers just came to the front door and scratched. He said,"It's freezing out there and all I find is dry food? I had thought better of you than that." He didn't really say that. He's not sarcastic. Miss Pumpkin came by earlier. Seemed to simply stroll through the sleet like it wasn't there.

29 degrees at noon, that's a real winter day 'round here. The poor kitties just pop out for a meal and hightail it back to shelter. Makes for a dull day for house-bound humans. Maybe I'll just stroll around the house. Found a couple of jonquils that were halfway to blooming. Those daffodils will open indoors to become beautiful buttercups(I think those three are all the same flower).

I know what you're thinking, if he likes this Inkspot so much, why not let him in the house? You weren't thinking that? Really? I'll have to rush my crystal ball to the Arcane Objects Boutique & Repair Shoppe. Anyway he, Inkspot, peeks timidly in or even dares to walk into the house so long as I hold the door open. He is curious but yellow about staying in. Loves the basement of a cold morning. Then he vanishes. Reminds me to treasure the time we have together.

It just doesn't feel that cold. No wind, I suppose. I put some water in the birdbaths. One is on the ground and stays liquid much longer Cats and squirrels drink out of that one too. I should rush right out and check on them. Or I could rush to the couch and take a nap.

I was just wishing I could see Inkspot and here he goes, trotting at high speed the length of the backyard. Even the 37 robins in the yard ignored him though he is a predator. "I'm to busy to predate right now, leave my your phone number and I'll get back to you," he called out over his shoulder.

He's a real cat about town. If he was human he'd have zoomed by in his car talking a mile a minute on the phone. I hope those robins presage an early spring. The sun's feebly trying to edge it's way through the crowds of clouds.

No sun but must be a hundred robins out back, plus assorted other birds, flipping up leaves we'd piled around trees and in flower beds. We'll have to go rake the borders back into place. No wonder Inkspot was running, must be like a Hitchcock film to him.

Sun's out. Maybe I'll drag my camera out there. Funny looking clouds. Talk about changeable weather, we seem to go through three seasons in one day sometimes. Found another half-open buttercup. So pretty. Sometimes out in the country you'll see a little space with a thick row of daffodils along one side and realize that, long ago, there was a house there. A home, with a bed of jonquils in the yard. Isn't that a nice thing to leave behind you?

I've planted several trees here. Great fun to watch them grow and go through the seasonal changes. And there are so many birds and squirrels that live in them. looks like we might have a sunset. Haven't seen many the last year or two. Darned clean air. We need a nice volcanic explosion to pep up those evening skies.

Not much of a sunset. Maybe next time. The sun'll go down, tomorrow, bet your bottom . . . Methinks it's high time to put the pen down.

Pizza in 5 minutes! Get it while it's not! We haven't had pizza in a coon's age. (Okay, a very young coon). I guess raccoons live a long time but you couldn't prove it by me. We've really got to make these animals carry ID cards. We're always saying,"What kind of bird is that?", or "What animal is that?" when we just catch a quick glimpse of it. And we need escalators on the steeper trails around here. And better weather.

So, robins eh? Early spring, no doubt. I'll take the word of a bird over some silly groundhog any day. Off and on we had a cold and early winter so maybe it's over. I'll give it a 50/50 chance. We'll either have a short winter of a long one. That's my final prediction.

2/3 of a large pizza. And I'm a little skinny thang (as far as you know). Nothing wrong with over-eating on a special occasion. We're celebrating the ninth of February because it only comes around once a year. And ice cream she got. I son't name any names. It wasn't Kitty. It wasn't me.

I'm tired. It's the eyes. They get dry and I want to close them. That's all. So I borrowed some eyed drops. Okay, I should say something about living in the present. It's not that you should not remember the past, just realize that you are remembering and that whatever feelings you have now exist in the now and can be changed in the now. Is that as clear as mud? Good.

I don't want to become one of those compulsive writers. It's wintertime so I'm not gardening and didn't even walk in the park today. It was hail out there. We were pinned down by a deadly hail of sleet whey suddenly an elephant in my father's pajamas shot through the camp. How he slipped past the pickets I'll never know.

I can write nonsense with the best of them. Funny, I quit photographing when the sun sets and I seem to run out of steam as a writer then too. The camera works better in the sunlight. Maybe the human does too. We say,'sleep on it,' and 'things will look better in the morning,' so either we are solar powered or sleep is good.

The camera works better in the sunlight. Maybe the human does too. We say,'sleep on it,' and 'things will look better in the morning,' so either we are solar powered or sleep is good.

That's my new theory. The sun is the father of all life on Earth. The Yang. The energizing principle. Aren't we more cheerful on a sunny day? When you wake up in the middle of the night, are you cheerful? Don't you just hate people who ask too many rhetorical questions? In a row? Where were you when the lights went out? Do they have a fourth of July in England? Answers: Yes. No. Yes. Yes. In the dark. Yes, but only once a year.

Ahem, as I was saying, sunlight and sleep refrexh and energize us so we should nap in the sun. Just look at cats, they snooze in the sun and have energy to burn when they have occasion to use it. So we're right back to scratching our ears with our feet.

Yes, I am sleeping better. No, you didn't miss anything. Now tonight, pizza, oatmeal cookies, water, but you never know. Tolle says we go back to the Unmanifested when we sleep. So we cease to exist? In a way yes, the ego is snuffed out. Yet we rebuild it every morning. Why? Give it a rest. This weekend. You can rebuild it Monday. Sort of what prople do who drink heavily on weekends. Why not develop a relaxed attitude that you can keep all week? Worth a try.

I'm going to bed early. Can't keep going earlier and earlier can I? Cat nap, that's what. Never quite got down to my postprandial nap today. I'll get right on it first thing tomorow.

Now Inkspot and Patches are yowling at each other They sit and stare at each other instead of eating. They're hardly better than dogs. I separated them physically and took the food away. It's too cold for that nonsense. wWhat would Tolle say? Cats will be cats. Let them be. They'r not actually fighting, just that old territory thing.

I'm thinkin g of winding up this Netbook. I'll go on writing, perhaps put anothe book together someday. Maybe we can each eceate our own Walden Pond right in our own homes. Just remember to waterproof your carpet first.

Bumpy old Gramps came by for a drink of water. Why should I chase him off if inkspot is not gonna be around anyway? 38 degrees now, that's almost warm. (Just keep telling yourself that).

Inkspot was by the back steps like before and Gramps went off after a while. Maybe I've been doing over doing things lately. And eating cookies & etc. Cold weather, hard to say no to empty calories.

Reckon we started a worm farm by piling up those leaves on borders and beds. That swarm of robins has unraked all our neat piles.

Got a touch of post bookum depression, I reckon. And tiredness. Doesn't seem like much work but it adds up. Old Inkspot is under his tree again. I never see such a cat for pine needles. So I go to go out and pet him and he comes a runnin'. A little food, a little pettin' and he's happy to be back.

Mr. Whiskers walked up the street with us to the corner, then he remembered he was too young to cross the street. I don't know though, seems like he's been around here twenty years. Maybe next year I'll let him cross the street.

That Mrs. Brimstone up the street has lots of pretty holly bushes. She must have a pact with the devil. That's what I say about folks who are better gardeners than I am. Yep, old Inkspot's trottin' around the yard, happy as a clam(?) Okay, have you ever seen a clam frowning? Well then. And I'm running back and forth from the notebook to the camera to the PC and back, happy as a zebu. And Mother's happy as an oryx.

Somebody did too many crossword puzzles. Now what to write about? We're all on the tender hooks, waiting for spring. Funny, this morning we were knee deep in robins, now there's only three cardinals out there. We've had a bumper crop of cardinals this year. And looks like a record year for robins too. What next? Giant sloths, sea eagles, abominable snowmen, three toed sloths, Asian wild asses, toadstools, katydids?

Just keep writin' 'til I wind down like an old clock, I suppose. Hey, you digital youngsters out there, there was a time before electric clocks or watches. There was a spring inside which was wound up to tension which was slowly released by way of an escapement until the spring's tension ran out. then the clock stopped. A grandfather clock or a cuckoo clock had a pendulum which swung back and forth with a regular periodicity thus powering the clock through momentum and measuring intervals of time. A spring and escapement mechanism may also assist the pendulum. Don't your electric clock and digital watch seem boring now?

Wow! An owl right in the back yard. I bet it's because of the birdseed out there. He doesn't eat it but mice come out at night for the seed and owls love mice; they have them for dinner 'most every night. That full moon behind the clouds made him a silhouette. That big thing was perched on a tiny twig. He didn't take off when I opened the door. I walked up close and took a flash photo as he took off. Too far away for a photo but it was fun anyway.

Free to a bad home, one Grumpy Cat. Poor little Inkspot tried to clue us in, remember how happy he was when he thought Grandpa was gone? I'm keeping an eye out for Grumpa. I think Inkspot is worth the effort to chase him off. 10:30, chased G away again. We have been good to him month after month and all we get are hisses and then he starts attacking little Inkspot. I've chased him away from the front porch twice but the real test is the basement. Guess I'll pop down there at bedtime. And the middle of the night?

Yes, Mr. Spot was safe and alone in the basement through 2 a.m. Haven't seen him this morning though that's not unusual in this cold. Pumpkin came by twice already and looked in the door like she might like to be the new indoor cat.

And here she is again. I tried to fob her off with a little dry food but she just waited patiently for me to bring the good stuff. Inkspot went in the direction she came from. Probably they switch off to get twice as much food from us suckers. Maybe they giggle at each other as they pass.

That Inkspot went off across the street (I think) then a few minutes later he's in the middle of the back yard. He came over for some pettin' n' scritchin' and a little food. We're gonna call him Pinecone because he's so often found under the pine tree.

Spotted Gramps at the cat trough. He ran into the next yard and slowed down. Too smart for his own good, perhaps. Just so Pinecone has a chance to heal up. Maybe it's nature's way and all that but you might say I'm part of nature and I say Grumpy has an unfair advantage. Inkspot, I mean Pinecone, has a strong personality. He goes right on enjoying life with his torn cheeks. He says,"Hey, I'm a guy, I don't need to be that pretty." I think old Grumps is just as happy this way, he's obviously an old alley cat and couldn't change his ways even if he wanted to.

We're all alley cats in some ways, we eat out of the Dumpster of Old Habits, we walk down the Alley of Yesterday and turn onto I'll Get Started On Improving Myself Tomorrow Avenue. They we stop to scratch at the Fleas of Petty Annoyances and then chase the Rat of Daydreaming through the Maze of One of These Days. Then, while trying to evade the Dog Catcher of Death we run out in front of the Pickup Truck of Doom and it's all over.

As we walk down the Alley of Life, chewing on the Fish Head of Good Fortune while pondering the Mouse of Last Week, and pawing at the Pet Door of Possibility, if we can drop our Purrsonal Hisstory and wrap the Cattail of Restfulness around the Feet of Fiduciary Success, then we may find the Catnip of Contentment.

I fed the Pinecone who used to be called Inkspot again. Not so cold today but it's a blustery day. He's not prickly like a pine cone . . . I know, Pinestraw; when he's not under the pine tree he often naps on a pile of pine straw we put around the roses. He's soft and he smell good (we will assume) and we like him.

It's so true that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. But who wants a bunch of flies? Pinestraw "catches" a lot of food and petting with his friendly ways. But when I asked him to help me clean up all the honey and vinegar I had put out in the yard, he declined.

Okay, I confess, I still go back to living in the past and all when I'm tired or something. But I can never be as bad as I used to be. Now I know the way out. I know there's a better way to live. However long it takes or how many times I slip, I know I'll remember to be in the now sooner or later. Or maybe I'll just read Tolle books over and over. Never did find an audio copy of Stillness Speaks. Well, just found it at Books a Million. We could drive over there. Pumpkin came by again. Her house must be closed.

Well, found that Tolle CD I was looking for at our local store after searching the Internet. Still easier to order it than drive to the store, park the car, go in, find the right section, go pay, no we don't want another savings card, drive home, fall exhausted into chair, snooze.

The Grumpster came by the back door to get some food there. Usually the birds eat what's left by Pinestraw but this time he sat there and scared them off 'til the sun went down. Still, if The Grump is after food and trying to avoid me, he doesn't have time to go after Pinespot. I mean, Inktree. Um, Conestraw? That black cat. I wonder if I should put food in the basement? It's not as cold now. It gives Grump and me something to do. A battle of wits. But what if I lose?

Now what? Inkspot, AKA Pinecone, AKA Pinestraw, wouldn't come to the table for food or petting. That's a work table in the basement. I couldn't get a good look at him. Oh well, he'll be around later.

Now it's later and he still isn't around. In fact, I haven't seen any cats -- nope, there was Miss Pumpkin at the front door. Mr. Whiskers has been gone for a day, Bouncy hasn't been here for days, did we suddenly get B. O.? The weather is warmer so they're not so hungry, I suppose,. Still, they should come around and say,"Here I am, I'm okay, now can I go play with the other kitties?"

Tolle says when you turn off you ego, your personality, nothing is value is lost. I say,"Amen to that brother, most folks would be better off, I know I would, if they would get rid of their "personality"." And we must enjoy nature without judging it with our personality. Nature says each living thing is here only for a while. We can't argue with that, we can't change that, we can only accept it. We're all just expressions of Life.

Another benefit of being in the now is that you don't need constant entertainment or something to do. You can just enjoy a nice day, sit around, look out the window, wander around the house; some days there is not much going on and that is good.

Just saw a push mower in a gardening supply catalog. They said the technology has improved so they don't require so much effort. And some were quite reasonably priced. May have to try one. Our electric mower is very good but you have to drag the cord around and try not to cut it. Also, it uses a lot of electricity, the push mower wouldn't' use any. Maybe we should plant more bushes around the edges of the yard.

What I would really like is an electric car with solar panels. The little that we drive, and I'm sure a lot of people just poke around town mostly, in fact, why not just rent a gas powered car for that long trip and -- where was I?

Just now Patches in the back corner of the backyard. I went out to offer food but he was gone. These cats avoid us like the plague. I say a plague on all their houses. They must think of us as just a fast food joint. Next thing you know they'll want little cat cars and a drive-through window.

Aha! Mother pulled up in the car and suddenly Inkspot and Whiskers appeared like magic. I could see they were trying to act innocent. They said,"Hey, let's hide out in the bushes all morning and just poop out for food when the car pulls in." Or maybe they assume that all humans go off in the car. They must have noticed when we go to the park and to run errands it's usually both of us.

Now they're both lunging around in the back yard as if they weren't involved in a conspiracy. There's a theory that cats actually came here from outer space in flying saucers. "Here's a planet full of suckers," they said,"we'll just land here and go around saying 'meow' and let them feed us." And we've been falling for it ever since. They're like those darned dolphins just lounging around having a good time. Disgusting.

It must be Wednesday, the Brackens put out their trash & recyc. Ha! Next time I'll put ours out on Tuesday night, that'll show them. Sounds like a new dog down the street. Why do people get these hysterical dogs? The dealer must give them tranquilizers before wheeling them into the showroom.

Found Pinestraw ensconced in monkey grass up to his neck so I ran for the camera but, as usual, he was too quick for me. I have got a few good pictures of him over the months. Anyway I petted him and fed him. What a life, take a nap, get petted, get fee, take another nap. Repeat.

Now he's gone and ensconced himself on the hard concrete driveway next door. That is one changeable kitty. And here's me and Mother setting him the example of being completely normal too. Now he's vanished again. It comes to mind he's avoiding me so he can take a nap. It's a peaceful day out there. Even the dogs are taking a bark break. I might join everyone in the universal nap except I just took a nap after lunch. I know, I'll have a snack and an after snack nap. Soon I'll be just like Kitty.

Wrote a short piece for the Eckhart Tolle newsletter. Pointed them to my web site. Most likely they'll practically force millions of drawers on me if I'll consent to let them print it as a book. Don't you just hate it when people try to force millions of dollars on you? It is simply harassment. Got my copy of 'Stillness Speaks' on CD. Good old Tolle reads it himself and pauses when he wants you to pause, not pause for thought but pause from thought. In 'Practicing the Power of Now' he played a small bell between chapters. Ripping the CD's to disk just in case a Cd should "go bad" somehow--say if I am walking along the street downtown and happen to have the CD in my hand when suddenly a wild zebu goes berserk and scratches my brand new CD.

Well, Old Grampus appeared on the porch and I chased him off but poor Inkspot has run off to hide now. So where's your power of now now? I know he'll be back but then I also know he'll be back and I don't mean The Terminator. Anyway Inkspot is healing. He usually does run away like he did from a car growling down the street earlier. Maybe he couldn't avoid Grandpa before. What else can I do but keep chasing him off? I guess we have this idea of settling things but in real life we often have to settle for a compromise. Of course we did geed him a long time but you figure he would get tame, not attack Inkspot.

Whew, found him in the rhododendrons (actually in the forsythia but I don't know how to spell that. Good thing he wasn't in the chrysanthemums). Maybe I can quit worrying for now. Just so I get up extra early tomorrow to catch up on worrying.

Ah, mage us some good human food -- garlic rice with fresh onion & green pepper.

And then he had the nerve to yawn at me. How could he take a nap when I was so worried? Us humans have a lot of nonsensical ideas like that. We should be more like cats, scratch our ears with our hind legs and chase mice and -- wait a minute, we should be more like them mentally; so quit trying to reach your ear with your foot. You can use your front paw to scratch your ear. I mean we should relax and take naps and enjoy whatever is around us at this moment. Watch a cat sitting there quietly, but those ears swivel around with every sound. As soon as we learn how to swivel our ears . . .

There's Whiskers on the front porch. He's thinking,"That human guy is so dumb he won't recognize me or remember that he just fed me on the back steps." Often I will feed him again if only because it's getting dark and he might as well fill up before night settles in but try telling him that. These cats probably say to each other,"those silly humans, aren't they cute with their funny little ways? Why can't they be sensible like us?" Yep, I fed Whiskers again. I said,"Do you think I'm really dumb and don't know I just fed you a few minutes ago?" He said,"Naw, I don't think you're dumb, not for a minute. All us cats agree you're the least stupid of the humans around here." Somehow I wasn't entirely reassured.

Good old Inkspot. I suppose he just accepts our attention as his due. Still, he comes running to me, at least early in the day, and has to have his petting, not just food. I think he's a paragon of cats and I'm sure he thinks I'm a meow of meows.

There's Ralphie the rat gnawing on the kitchen wall. Guess I'll put him some seed in the basement though one fine morning he may wind up as a cat's breakfast.

Sammy the Siamese is still swimming. Don't know how many yours it's been. Have to look up their longevity on the 'et. (2 years).

I don't know why but Ralphie the Rat talks like Festus on Gunsmoke.

The trick is to make your now better and better. This is done by simply paying attention. Pay close attention to everything around you. You will learn from this and somehow your surroundings are improved by your attention. This is not explicable to the mind. Just try it.

Yes, all day. You will forget at first. I sure did. Immediately after closing the book almost I would slip right back into the usual stram of thought about the past. Soon I would be in a bad mood and in a tiny world of my own. Then I would read the book again and say 'Oh yeah, I forgot to stay present." Being such and advanced person it only took me several months to finally start actually practicing what Tolle said and seeing results in my daily life.

But I knew there was something in his books that spoke to my soul. The mind gets in the way of such things. Mostly I had trouble accepting reality as it is instead of how I tried to insist that it should be. we have to start with actual reality. Accept that first. Pay attention.

Hopefully you are not such an intellectual as I was. I'm not sure it matters but the difficulty is to rise above thought. To stop the river of associations, labels, filters, and prejudices that color all our thoughts. To stop thinking.

Pay attention to your body. Not as an object to label but from inside. All this takes a while to get used to. Be patient with yourself. Pause often during the day.

Why am I writing this? Who am I to tell you what too do? I'm just another person. I have been interested in and practiced, off and on, meditation and Zen and so on over the years. But it never really changed my life. Not in a lasting way. Tolle's way works. There's no particular technique. He suggests that we put our attention in our bodies, our surroundings, and I've noticed that 'wise men' of many different traditions all agree on this part, 'pay attention', they say, 'wake up'.

Tolle is a modern, Western person who one day had a profound spiritual experience. An awakening. He refers to Zen and Christianity and the Tao to explain it but he did not sit and meditate for years on end or work at any spiritual discipline. He's one of us. European, English speaking, drives a car, drinks coffee, has hair, wears pants; he's not an Eastern mystic in a robe or anything like that. He's modern. He's for real.

He's also quite ordinary. Tolle reminds us that he is not important. It's the message -- wake up, be present, be in the now, pay attention.

Nothing wrong with the Orient, just that our cultural ancestors took the path of intellect, dividing everything into separate parts. The result is stupendous. Science and technology obviously get things done. Amazing stuff really, but what we need now is wisdom. How to decide just what to do with our knowledge and power over the physical world.

Science doesn't supply wisdom. Religion seems to be played out; perhaps misinterpreted. But if enough people reach personal enlightenment, a la Eckhart Tolle, then we will naturally bend our nuclear swords into plowshares. My life is more peaceful and I seem to spread that peace around me. Lots of people are waking up from the dream of thought.

Where was I? Got called out of the room. My mind is blank. How'm I supposed to write when I've quit thinking? I don't think I know. Observe yourself. Step outside of your life story. Take a reality break. Now. Feel the aliveness of your body. Be conscious of space. Of the silence between sounds. Look up into the night sky. Carry that within you.

I carry a pocket camera. Whether I actually take any photos or not, it focuses my mind on the patch of pretty flowers planted amidst the concrete of a busy street. I look at the sky instead of the parking lot. Sometimes I photograph the sky. Sometimes we have sea gulls in the parking lot.

I'd been simplifying my life for a long time but still wasn't at peace. My faults showed up even more clearly without the busyness of life to hide them. And I struggled to fill the day. Now I just enjoy or quietly accept whatever exists here and now.

You can't end war by fighting against war. You can only raise yourself above that level. The level of thought, the egoic mind, as Tolle calls it. On the spiritual level there is peace. This inner peace spreads from individual to individual. Be part of the solution by simply being in the now.

But I've been and done many other things. Lived other lives. Does it not seem that you were almost a completely different person years ago? But deep down you're always you. That's what counts. All the goings on in your life come and go. Outside circumstances change. But you remain. And it is always now.

Found myself whistling this morning. Looked into the back room and there I was. No wait, I was already there. Whistling some old tune from the radio long ago. don't much hear folks whistling anymore. What's the point of all our advances if we're not happy?

Just don't think of all the bad things. Thinking doesn't make things better. Thinking keeps things in your mind. Turn that off and it all fades away. Thinking will be there when you need it for practical purposes.

Got me an '07 calendar and here it is only Jan. 26th. Just call me hyper-efficient. Kind of an ugly nickname. How about Jimbo? Nice, friendly sound to that. Glad we got that settled.

Who are we efficient for anyway? For our machines. Do you work hard to pay for that car or house that seemed so important? Then you get used to it and it's not that special anymore. Simplify.

Just had a bowl of ice cream. I "solved" my weight problem by asking for sweat pants for Christmas. After all, I'm not a movie star. Life is too short to spend it going up and down on yo-yo diets. Just relax and enjoy life.

Granny Smith apples, that's what I eat one of each day. Ordered me a dwarf Granny Smith apple tree to plant in the yard. I keep picturing a gnarled old lady scolding me for calling her a dwarf.m

Just sprayed myself with the dog chaser. ScareCrow, they call it. Thought I was standing behind it but soaked half my shirt. That'll wake you up on a chilly day. Inkspot just ignored it. At first he used to take off with that odd jinking run cats have. And he didn't get wet. It sprays out in a fast half circle saying, "chuff, chuff, chuff, chuff," you've seen the type. Just add a motion detector. Haven't stepped in any, shall we say, dog leavings since putting that in the yard.

Come to think of it, since putting that ScareCrow in the yard we haven't seen any rhinos, tigers, giraffes, or wart hogs in the yard either. That thing really works!

Did see a crow. They've moved back to town. Used to see them out in the county exclusively. The sea gulls are back. I've seen armadillos, a fox, coyotes; all within the city (admittedly somewhat countrified and with several extensive parks) limits. Don't forget the white tail deer. Boy, just put away your guns for a few short decades and look what happens.

Not to mention hawks, buzzards, great blue herons, ducks, Canada geese, a great horned owl; I don't actually spend much time out there either.

Where do I live? Small town America. Perhaps medium sized. A very small city. Twenty-five square miles, much of that parks and undeveloped land. Much of it developed as well. Two creeks and a river. Deciduous forest area. Hilly, not mountainous. Just a completely average place.

And a huge raccoon. And lots of possums, one right inside the house. I'd left the basement door open for our indoor cat to go in and out through a narrow space on the side of the house while we were out of town for a few days. The evening of our return I see this immature possum perched on a coffee table by the couch in the living room.. He didn't yet have the adult coloration but was quite as big as an average house cat. So I grab a flashlight and camera and follow him around 'til he finally went outside. Very gentle, friendly animals.

Ow. Went driving around at 4 P.M. Low winter sun, Friday traffic, not worth it. But I wanted to service the car while the weather was warm. Now we have gas for another month. 'Most everywhere we go is within a mile of the house.

And of course the usual snakes, frogs, turtles, squirrels, chipmunks, song birds -- what is this, a menagerie? And there are trees all over Wildwood Park. Why you can hardly step out of the house without tripping over a bunch of wild animals just lounging around. I don't think a one of them has an honest job. Consider the lilies of the field, they toil not, neither to they spin, the lazy bastards!

I hope you're not a lily-livered lily lover (try saying that six times fast). That's words for you, they're all suspect. Especially suspect any word that is capitalized and yet does not refer to something you can point to. What is real is what you can see, smell, taste, touch, or hear, personally. All else is hearsay. Turn off the "outside world" for a while. Turn off the TV and the car radio. Turn off your phone. Peaceful, ain't it?

Take a mini-vacation. Turn off "the world" for a weekend. It'll still be there on Monday. Put on your old favorite book, film or music; nothing live. No commercials. No interruptions. Nice, yes?

Wait! First you'll want to stock up the fridge with your favorite comestibles. No booze. We're not talking about a lost weekend but a found one. You many find your true self that's been lost to the constant distractions of modern life. The trouble is we carry these distractions with us mentally wherever we go. That's why some people jump out of perfectly good airplanes. The danger forces the mind to shut up and pay attention. If you forget to pull that rip cord . . . With a little practice and effort we can turn off the raging river of thought without renting a parachute. Just let go of the past and the future. Try it now.

I know I say things that may not make sense at first. That's whit I thought while reading 'The Power of Now' and 'Stillness Speaks' by Eckhart Tolle. He speaks to a part of us (so to speak) that is beyond thought. Where we are connected with the Infinite. Words can only point toward this, never describe it. We cannot comprehend this with thoughts and words. But it is certainly worth persevering. I consider myself quite intelligent but had to read his books over and over and over, trying to understand in the usual way -- no dice. I had to give up and just try actually doing what he suggested I do: putting awareness into my body, quietly appreciating nature (in person); paying attention, without judging, without labeling, whatever is around, including myself, my thoughts and emotions, in the present moment.

So stop thinking. Don't worry, it'll come back. Because of words, we separate ourselves from the world. We even split ourselves, I told myself to remember but . . .' Now who told who? Are you twins? 'I found myself doing it again . . .' Where did you find yourself and just who did the finding? It's only in words that we seem split in two. And in fact we are connected with everything in the Universe. So don't worry about all those lost socks. We're all in the same boat so don't worry, be present. Nothing wrong with living in the world. You know, making money and acquiring things. Just so you don't identify yourself with those things. Things come and go.

Thoughts and feeling come and go. The real you stays. All ephemeral things are like clothes, you change clothes, styles change, but you, your body, is always there. Perhaps the body is just another thought.

Ooh, we're getting deep here. Put on your wetsuit and scuba gear. Dive, dive! We say rising above thought but you can dive into your inner space and drift gently down into the unfathomable depths of the soul. What exists in outer space and also deep within yourself? Dive in and find out.

The sky's grayed up again. Better in the wintertime, I think. Get some rain tonight, maybe a little snow in the morning. Where we live snow is a rear and beautiful thing. We rush out to enjoy it. If we're lucky, the sun comes out before it melts. Snow sparkles in the sunlight.

And cottontail rabbits, muskrats (I call them beaverinos because they look and act just like a beaver but lack the famous flat tail), and one other creature which I told myself to be sure to remember to write down so what was it? I'll have to hold myself in contempt if I can't recall. I'll make myself stand in the corner till I've learned my lesson.

I'm back. I left the room so I snuck out of the corner. What if one of the two me's predicts the movement of three bodies in space (a problem we haven't solved and yet we arrogate ourselves to be the rulers of Earth and perhaps the only intelligence in the entire Universe). Yeah, right.

2:15, fed cat again. Mr. Whiskers was out there too. Not that cold today, all the critters are hungrier as the temperature drops. It's only 54 degrees. You could practically sunbathe. There's your human advantage, I can record when I feed the cats and then spring out and say ha! and the cats faces will turn red with embarrassment. You can see pictures of these cats and some wild animals but mostly trees and flowers and landscapes by clicking here.

Inkspot and co-conspirator Whiskers came running up to the door when Mother looked out. I begrudgingly gave them some more food, 2:45 now, they claimed it was starting to sprinkle and they wanted a good feed before the rain set in. Stay tuned for more in this gripping drama.

We're on the observation deck of Earth, the scenic overlook; notice the night sky or a tree or anything in nature. Find out what like is all about by just quietly looking at living things. Or rocks for that matter. The ocean. Why do people sit and stare at the ocean? Go find out. Go up in the mountains, walk in the woods, observe that patch of weeds by the road.

Ever go spelunking? You can see some really strange expressions of nature deep under ground. Or just hang out with a house plant. Observe your mind as you go to sleep and as you wake up. Where does it go at night? Sometimes there are souvenirs brought back from our nighttime journeys. And I don't men tee shirts or coffee cups. Why do people bring back souvenirs? Can we not remember where we've been?

"All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream," said Poe. A lot of truth in that. Shouldn't we try to wake up? The dream we call the modern world is turning into a nightmare. We want to wake up gently, not with a nuclear bang.

Time for some humor after that. Anybody out there know a good joke? Yes, you in the back? Why is it always the guy in the back? He's a reporter. Can you guess his name and the paper he works for? Stop me if you've heard this one -- Brown from The Sun. Get it? I'll just wait while you laugh . . . You done? Here, use my handkerchief . . . That's okay, you keep it.

I lose more handkerchiefs that way. But I'm not all about possessions. I've given up trying to possess a car, for instance. I have bad car karma. Maybe I just don't like driving. Do you?

4:30, same day, fed Inkspot again! He started eating but sometimes he takes a bite or two and walks away. I always pet him first so maybe that's all he really wants sometimes. I told him he could come in the house and get lots of petting but he says, "No thankee, Kind Sir, But I was born to be an outdoor cat and an outdoor cat I shall remain all my days." Pretty fancy talk from an ordinary domestic cat.

I mean really, I've got to raise my nose from the grindstone and lift my shoulder from the wheel every time some facetious feline gets an urge to fraternize? Interjection! Sorry to use such language but we all have to draw the line somewhere and that somewhere is right here.

My personal history, you ask? I was born in a log cabin that I built with my own hands. Then my parents said, "Boy, you're so ugly you'd better go to law school. Then I entered politics . . . wait a minute, that's Lincoln's life, not mine. Any other questions? It's looking snowy out there, all gray and sprinkly and will be down to freezing come morning. I may have to crank up the old snow shovel to clear a path to the computer so I can get to work tomorrow. What's that? Yes, I know tomorrow is Sunday. From setting sun to setting sun, a writers work is never done.

I'm crazy? Ha! I'm laughing all the way to the bank. After getting some funny looks, I took to holding a fake cell phone to the side of my head as I laughed all the way to the bank and then folks thought I was sane. No, I don't own a real one. Really, can't we stand to be out of touch while driving or taking a walk? I do not want to be 'touched' while enjoying nature. Write me a letter instead. And please tell me that you turn your phone off upon entering a restroom.

I know, why not tattoo a cell phone on the side of your face and then you'll fit in with the crowd without being bothered by actual calls? Or actual huge phone bills?

Obviously I use a con pewter and I drive, sometimes as far as a mile from the house. Otherwise I might as well be living 'way back in the 20th century. We've even cut down to just one phone in the house. I read actual books (okay, mostly on cd, I mean I'm not a complete caveman). We only recently got a dvd player. Nothing wrong with picking and choosing your tech level. Take control of your tech, it's supposed to serve you, not send you scrambling to keep up with it. You don't really have to have the latest thing. I seem to stumble along somehow without an mp3 player of even a cell phone. Don't know how I manage it, just a fluke I suppose.

Put down that cell phone! Turn it off! I will not tolerate phoning while you read this book. Hear that siren? That's the multi-tasking police coming to get you. Your pc can multi-task -- you can't. I do one thing at a time and thereby do each thing well.

What's with all this busyness? You're distracting yourself from something. What is that something? Your life. Slow down and see what you're missing. You speed ahead to the next red light while I ease along and we end up at the same place and time, only I am relaxed and enjoying the quiet of the car's interior. Nope, I don't even turn on the radio. Try silence. Just for a change.

That would be boring, you say. No. I enjoy life much more since I quit trying to fill the time with entertainment or learning or going or doing. Now I'm just being. Okay, so I'm writing, you caught me. I sit on the couch and write longhand in a notebook. For a change I key some in to the pc. Then I run the spell check. After fixing my many typing errors, I go back to the couch. Or feed the cats or cook supper or whatever. If nothing comes to mind or I get tired, I take a break. Mostly I don't' worry about it. Some folks may read this and get something out of some of it. I enjoy writing it. That's good enough.

Gold Bond Medicated Lotion. I like the extra strength. There's your commercial if you're withdrawing from tv. Obsessive thinking is another addiction. And it's harmful just like the others. You don't have to think about the past or the future. You won't vanish. You'll still be yourself. I used to smoke and thought if I quit I wouldn't be myself anymore. I'm still myself, of course, only healthier. Just a slightly improved version of myself. But when I quit thinking obsessively about the past, same old thoughts over and over and what I would supposedly do about it in the future and on and on ad nauseum, well, it's just wonderful to get off that hellish treadmill.

It's restful and energizing. You free up beaucoup energy and peacefulness when you drop all that. All that ego, me, me, me, self pity over nothing, anger about things you can't change, regrets, vainglorious future fantasies; just give it all a rest. It'll take you a while to shift gears. Took me a few months. It seems to come on gradually but then suddenly you're so peaceful. Not necessarily happy, often it's some tragedy that pushes you to change. Maybe like me you'll be freed up to do that thing you always meant to do. I always sort of vaguely thought I would be a writer 'someday'. That elusive 'someday' that never seems to arrive. But I didn't know what to write. Now it's just pouring out freely.

Tolle says it's time for the human race to shape up or ship out. Well, those are my words ut he did say something like that. Earth -- love it or leave it. Put that on your bumper sticker. What else does he say? Would you rather be a happy cow? He says something funny now and then. I hope you are finding my own forays into humor humorous.

Well, the votes are in -- no more jokes. Too bad for you, this is not a democracy, this is my book.

Moo . . . No wait, we voted against becoming cows. So what does an enlightened person do all day? About the same things, perhaps fewer and slower, do things more thoroughly and just one thing at a time. Look around and appreciate what you have. Do you have a house plant? Do you take time to look at it or just try to remember to water it? Here's a good trick, take your plants, pictures, whatever is easily moved, and simply switch them around. Trade places. You'll be amazed at how much you'll notice those things that had become simply background. The change catches your attention. Let everything around you catch your attention.

The Power of Now, it seemed to leap off the shelf of the local library. I'd become fed up with fiction and wandered over to the non-fiction section. The book seemed to sneak into my hand. Okay, I can't explain it. So I listened to it and said, 'that makes sense, I'll do that in my daily life'. Next day I was right back in the past, barely noticing anything around me, but the cd was still in the drive. To make a long story slightly longer, I checked the book out over and over and eventually got it. Mostly the difficulty is the habit of trying to solve or analyse everything through thought. You can't use thought to rise above thought. You can only get hints. Just keep trying. It is worth it.

Do I have to wear robes and shave my head and eat only rice and sit cross legged and stare into space on top of a mountain? Yes. Now get going. That's what I used to think. But this is 'top down' self improvement. Once you quit thinking obsessively, you will naturally begin to gradually improve your life circumstances. Or rather, your life will improve without much effort on your part. You will be in harmony with life and flow along with it. Like a great athlete who is 'in the zone' you will automatically do what is best for yourself and others. Why not be 'in the zone' all the time? Yes, you can live that way.

The saga of the cats continues, I was thinking Patches hadn't been around lately and there he was out the back door. When I took some food out there was a little mild yowling and Inkspot appeared and demanded his share. They're just like children. They used to play together. Now they're too 'grown up'. Maybe none of us should grow up in that way. Nothing wrong with being playful. Just so we know that cats and other people are not toys.

Like something in 'The Hobbit', a small bridge made of small logs. I took a picture of it. Popped in my book on tape of 'The Hobbit'. Old J. R. R. was quite the tale spinner. Imagine making a whole world up in your head. But then we all do that. But we call it 'the real world'.

Personally I prefer J. R. R's world. When we drop our mental filters, who knows what we'll see? I thought armadillos only lived west of the Pecos, or at least the Mississippi. Same for coyotes. Maybe they hitchhiked. I think I saw a hobbit bridge. And the three Billy Goats Gruff were under it. No wait, the troll was under the bridge and the three Billy Goats Gruff wanted to cross it.

Those funny little stories of childhood, we grow up and leave them behind. We have a 'real' story wherein if we get the good career, the good marriage, and live in a good area, we will live happily ever after. Make sure you get the big house and the correct type of car. Then you are sure to be happy. Once upon a time.

What do we do instead of all that? Right action arises when the mind is still. I can't tell you what to do. The odd thing is that you can't tell you what to do either. You are caught up in a maelstrom of thought and emotion.

You may have some of those thins and yo may lose them. You will still be you and it will still be now. Those stories that we all learned are limiting. They are old attempts to make sense of life. It's time to step out of stories and into real life.

We have to find our way together. And reality is all of a piece, it's more a matter of going along with it than deciding on a direction for yourself. We're all in the same boat -- the Earth.

You have to go through certain experiences. Life puts lessons in front of us and if we refuse them you won't get anywhere. Like what I'm just noticing, these cats watch the door when the weather's cold and pop up with a pitiful meow when I'm in view. If you pay attention, life doesn't have to hit you over the head with its lessons.

These chapters keep getting shorter. Maybe that's a plan, gradually write shorter chapters 'til the last chapter consists of one sentence such as: Go forth and spread the word of enlightenment and waking up from the dream of thought and appreciating nature and being aware of the body (from the inside, I mean feel the aliveness from within though it's a funny thing that whey you relax completely, your body seems to go away as far as you can tell, like when you soak in a warm tub of water?) and paying attention to everything around you and dropping all those obsessional mental habits and remember the guy in the back is always sun tanned and cats are people too and Spaceship Earth -- love it or flag down a flying saucer and -- wait! Hold it! I meant a short sentence. Oh.

Here I am splitting myself in two again. That makes me simply beside myself with anger. I don't know if I'm more angry with me or me is, um . . . what the heck am I saying?

We are only one person. And just what a person consists of is difficult to say. How about when you are asleep? Are you a person then? I'd like to see you prove it. Ever dream of flying and when you woke up you were convinced it was true for a few minutes? When we realize that our waking life is only another type of dream, who knows what may hap?

17 degrees this morning. I started the car early (for her, I commute by strolling over to the pc, not that she works but goes to an early aerobics class) and put some liquid water in the birdbaths. Remind me to ut some more in if it doesn't get over 32 degrees soon.

Ever flip a coin to make a decision? I would go against the con's decision half the time. So I canceled it out, right? No, the point of the coin flip is to focus your mind, to slow down the generation of future scenarios and consultation of your memories for similar situations; not to let a small piece of metal tell you what to do. The I Ching is good for more important decision making. Or you could ask a human being.

What do these things have in common: a dream catcher, a cow catcher, a dog catcher? Nothing, words are misleading. I don't mean that words may be misleading or may be used to mislead; words cannot describe reality and so always mislead us. Don't take words so seriously. Don't take you thoughts so seriously. The map is not the land.

The land is darned chilly. Still not up to freezing. Why do I keep harping on this? It's what's happening now. Also, while we're not quite as far 'down' the map as Florida, we nearly are. I can't help thinking that Canada is 'up' and Florida is 'down' And if you go to Florida and keep going south you will go 'down' into the ocean so . . .

Keeping an eye out for Inkspot. He's a short hair and so seeks shelter from the cold. I haven't figured out where he beds down but he seems to watch for our car to pull in. Perhaps if I drove around the block he would appear. Sometimes he doesn't show up until late afternoon. I think he's keeping some other humans on the side. Naughty naughty.

33 degrees outside so I'll quit worrying. You realize that if I didn't put in the required worry time each day the world would grind to a halt? That's what some folks seem to think. And if you fail to puff up your ego, the poor thing will collapse and cease to exist? That one's true.

I suppose we could put in a cat door but then you get possums out the wazoo. Not that they hurt anything. I've never heard a bad word about possums. Maybe we should put in a possum door. I'll just run over to the internet and order a possum door to be delivered.

I saw a home video of a crow and a kitten who where friends. The crow would bring food to the kitten but more amazingly they they would hang out and play together. If a bird and a cat can get along, maybe there's hope for us "higher" forms of life.

The cat finally dragged himself in. Covered with red dirt, probably was in the basement where it's warm. I quit looking there because Grandpa had chased him out, being the older male cat around here.

He was filthy. Been off having adventures while I sat home worrying. I'll just dock his allowance. I'll tell him to stand in a corner and reflect on what he's done. Maybe he was in some other basement. He's a mess.

Guess who came back for another meal. These cats must think we're mighty slow on the uptake. Fed Inkspot and Whiskers around back, walked through the house to the front door and he comes Whiskers running up to ask for food as if he hadn't had any all day. Now it's time for Patches to show up. He definitely has other humans on the side -- us.

Looks nice outside. Think I'll quit listening to the weather forecast. They try to scare you with what turns out to be just a mild rain. More ego puffing, I reckon. Why can't they all be wonderful like me? My ego got so small I lost it in the wash.

Had a nice walk in the woods. Must be forty degrees, quite balmy really. You say I'm balmy? Or is it barmy? Off my rocker? I don't get that one. Look at it this way, has the world improved because of your rushing around trying to improve it? No, it hasn't. Tolle says we have to quit being part of the struggle. Not for or against anything but above the argument. More spiritual people = less arguments.

Because reality is all of a piece, whatever happens had to happen. It's interwoven with everything else. Our constant mistake is to separate things out, including ourselves. Just accept reality. what we call good and bad is just your opinion. That opinion is based on separating parts of a whole that cannot exist as separate parts. It's like taking one thread out of the middle of a large woolen blanket, sure you could eventually work and worry the thread out but then it wouldn't be the same. It would be a dead thread.

Without the support of the rest of the blanket, the thread is meaningless. You are a thread, so am I , so is every tree and animal. What's more, each thread is exactly as important as any other thread. All together they form the blanket we call reality.

It's getting right chilly these nights so be sure to pull your reality up to your chin. Oh wait, it's not actually a blanket. Darned good metaphor though, if I do say so myself. Just came to me. You know that poem on my web site? Came to me in a dream. Don't tell anyone. It'll be just out little secret.

Why is it our best inspirations come in a dream or a sudden flash of insight? Because they come from outside us. We're not creative. Not by working at it. You have to receive inspiration. Do you receive through a closed door? Open your mind and heart to the inspiration just waiting for you in nature, in your sleep, when you forget to think.

It's all in how you look at it. The weather forecast is all gloom and doom but I look out the window now and see pleasant sunshine. We all make forecasts of our own lives, sometimes gloomy, sometimes the opposite. How many times have your forecasts proved accurate? Of course you may force the issue by insisting on looking at the 'bad' or 'good' side of everything. If you're honest, you'll see that you are even worse than the weather service at predicting the future. Especially the far future. So why try? Just enjoy the sunshine today. If it's raining were you are, enjoy that. Or simply accept it. Like Tolle says, "Don't judge or condemn what I way, just try it."

Doing some good writing today. Yesterday I was down in the Dumpster. Your life won't become a bed of rosettes when you live in the now. Or maybe I'm still slipping back into the past and future. The past being a story based on suspect memories of events that were misinterpreted in the first place. The future being completely phantasmal. And all centered on 'me'. The story of 'my' life starring 'me'. Maybe I'll see what's on another channel. I've noticed that my life is better when I do things for other creatures. I mean practical, 'now' things like preparing or giving food.

Mr. Inkspot climbed up on the tool shed but decided it was too windy and cool up there for a postprandial nap. He uses a ladder. Cats go up head first, and surprisingly, come down a ladder head first too.

Inkspot was almost acting human. A human might have insisted on having his usual nap in the usual place no mater what. Don't we push ourselves till we fall ill? We ignore our bodies until that 'first' heart attack. That's insane. Is it worth killing yourself to go on living in the past and future and ignoring the now? And what's bad for you is also bad for the other threads nearby in your corner of the reality blanket. We treat living creatures like objects, even our very own selves. Isn't it time for a change?

Here I am belaboring you when for all I know you're way ahead of me. Are you? I'm not just being silly when I ask questions of you, Dear Reader, it's a device to wake you up. Feel free to pause anytime and reflect. Don't reflect on anything, just pause.

I'm thinking of eating a second apple today. But this brings up a thorny problem -- If eating an apple a day keeps the doctor away, will eating two apples attract doctors or keep them twice as far away? I suppose I'll have to sacrifice myself in the name of science and make the experiment. Here goes -- hold you breath . . . Don't see any doctors so far. Looks like tow apples keep them twice as raf away. But remember that a basketful off apples brings bellyache, and then we might consult a, whisper it, doctor. I can see that these apples are tricky things. I'll keep a close watch on the apple situation. Stay tuned for apple-a-day updates.

This just in! It seems the infamous "Granny" Smith and her evil cohorts (does anyone ever have good cohorts?) have pushed the apple's health protecting properties to a grossly exaggerated degree in order to denigrate all other fruit and so increase their profits. And what of vegetables? "Granny Smith, AKA the "Grandmother" of the infamous Red Rider scandal, has been brought up on charges of conspiracy to defraud the apple loving public. This action has been brought by Sleeping Beauty, Little Red Riding Hood, et al. who are also charging the aforesaid "Granny" Smith with actually being an evil stepmother and/or witch.

Those funny kitties, just put themselves in that oval shape and wait. I'd locked the doors for the night but reopened the back door and there they still were. I asked them if they'd read that book by the world renowned cat expert who said just feed you cat twice a day but they denied having read it. So I fed them again. Cold weather I suppose. When it gets hot I'll reduce 'em to one meal a day. Then they'll say,"Where's my second meal as recommended by that world renowned cat expert?"

Somebody's cutting the grass. It's January 30th! There's nothing growing but wild onions. At least they're not blowing leaves with a snow blower.

If you really want peace of mind, turn off your tv. No, you don't need to know what newscasters say. I'm very much out of touch and yet I've heard about every major piece of news. Throw away that remote. I put it on Noah weather radio and I'm thinking that can go too. There is no 'must see tv' (do they still say that?). Really, it's a lot of noise and lights flashing at your eyes, now annoying. And the ads are downright insidious. Not just each one but the cumulative effect of describing you as weak and needy so you'll buy their overpriced crud. Turn it off and throw away the remote. I did. (Of course I fished the remote out of the trash can later).

I walk into the kitchen and the birds fly away from the feeder just outside the window. As if they're saying, "There's that horrible ogre, run for your life!" But they're not really saying that (are they?). It's just their nature, it's what they've learned from experience and evolution. The trick is to realize that that applies to us too. We are the sum of our life experience and genetics. Only we may be able to rise above that. To break free and actually make new decisions not based on the past. I'd like to see those insulting birds manage that. Calling me an ogre . . .

This is amazing! Where does it all come from? Ever said,"I just haven't been myself lately?" Well, who were you then? Oh, that guy down the block, you know the one, you see him out in his yard all the time? Yeah, that's him.

That brings up a good point -- why complain? something happens or it's raining and we whine about it. Does it get better? Poor little me, stuck in the rain. It's that life story again, you're the big star of your story but this ain't Hollywood. Here, it rains whenever it rains -- why whine about it? And that goes for everything else in 'your life'.

Aw, little Inkspot was in the basement this morning. Maybe he won the last fight with Grandpa. It was 16 degrees this morning so I'm sure all cats were in the warmest place they could find. I put food and water down there. No big deal except the door sticks and the stairs are rickety. I can oil the door.

So, what to do when it's pouring cold outside? Catch up on indoor things. Take out trash and recyc. Should I write down my grocery list? Who am I to decide what's important? Eggs, wet cat, dry cat. That's canned or pouched cat food and dry cat food. They like to keep the illusion of independence. Funny how we can see their foibles but not our own.

Did our errands in record time. It's only 25 degrees and will be noon soon. Nothing like a little nip in the are to get me moving. Still no sign of Grandpa. He may be snoozing in the basement. Or somewhere else. I suppose I could go look. Aren't you going to talk me out of it? Oh all right.

Nope, no Gramps. We don't even like him. It's like that old story of the guy with the herd of 99 cats and one of 'em gets lost and he looks for it and some guy says,"How come you're lookin' fer that one dad blame cat? Ain't chew got 98 of 'em right cheer?" And the other answers,"Ya dang fool, this is the lost one, why'd I wanna go lookin' fer them 98 cats? Ah knows whar they is. Tarnation fool!" (New Southern Bible 2007).

I'm not sure I get the point of that story. Reminds me of how folks say,"Where'd you find it?" "In the last place I looked." Ha! Just looked out the front door and here comes old Gramps ambling along. So I rushed out with some cat food for him. And he hissed at me as per usual. Everything's back to what passes for normal around here. Now where did I put those other 98 cats?

Okay, I lapsed. I turned on the weather. Now they're saying one inch of snow tonight. For us that's about once every 5 or 10 years. Of course we've heard that prediction before and didn't see flake one.

The snow hasn't started yet. Tolle says to give up waiting as a state of mind. You could spend your whole life waiting to stat living. Many of us are like the kids in the back seat saying,"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" Don't wait to get "there", it may never happen. Here and now is all we have.

Grandpa didn't eat very much. He usually stands over that Frisbee 'til it's licked clean. It's easy to see he hasn't always known where his next meal was coming from. I'll give him some fresh if he comes back. The other cats are laying low. I suppose they know some heavy weather's on the way.

Maybe he retired to the basement. Still cold out. Aha! The pile of dry food in the basement has mysteriously vanished. Call Batman. And Inkspot comes over from the neighbor's and feels warm to the touch. They're out of town but there must be a warm nook for him there somewhere. I guess I can allow myself to stop worrying for a little while. Now Inkspot's lying in the pine straw again. He and Patches love that stuff.

Keeping a sharp eye on the windows. Could snow any minute. Are we there yet? Something white outside, it's moving, oh, it's just a white car. Stay tuned. Keep on your toes. When it starts snowing I'll rush out and take a picture of it.

There's always snow. Or a bird. Or a squirrel. Or just blue sky. That's worth looking at. Just breathe and look around. And listen. Don't judge or label or interpret anything. Let it wash over you. That's all. This isn't leading anywhere; you're already there.

There's Grandpa on the front porch again. Maybe that other food was frozen. We're not used to this, it's struggled up to 32 degrees at 2 p.m. This here weatherman is practically guaranteeing snow here. And he just happens to have this used car for sale that was only driven once a week by a little old lady. To bad the odometer broke.

It's a snow day! Remember that from school? That was better than summer. Of course you got out for summer. Now they talk about year-round school, boo, hiss; kids are cooped up too much already. All we got was the instruction: Go out and play. We took it from there.

Just gray skies. Likely better if I hadn't heard the forecast. I might have waked up to a winter wonderland. But you never know. I'll give it a 50/50 chance, either it snows or it doesn't.

3:20, still no snow. I'll just report in about once and hour. Fun, huh?

3:22, still no snow. Funny though, there's a strip of sky of a different color, like a sunset. Way too early for that. Even the birds are just perched in the bushes, waiting. Know what? I think I'll dump out the birdbaths, be nothing but ice anyway so in the morning I can wade out through the huge blanket of snow and put water in the snowy bowls.

Brought in our last daffodil. It's been struggling to open for days in spite of the cold. Now it's half open but if there is precip tonight, ye olde wintry mix, that would drag it down for sure.

3:58, you guessed it. I suppose we'll have something out of the sky. Maybe meteorites. It's happened before. Remember the dinosaurs? Where are they now? I heard they're on the lam with "Granny" Smith. Along with Bigfoot and Nessie and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

4:19, and guess what? No, I haven't been sitting here watching for white; I gad a relaxing bath. I suggest you do the same, and don't spare the soap. This is a clean book and you must be clean while you read it. Go on, I'm not writing another word 'til you've bathed . . . I'm waiting . . . I can sit here all day . . . [Author idly taps fingers] . . .

That's better. Getting mighty gray out there. We all know what that means. They said it would stat at 9 p.m. Well, we're early to bedders around here. That's about time to start observing one's eyelids. Maybe there'll be something in the morning. I recall one year the radar showed a solid line of snow storms heading our way, predictions of one to two feet of snow -- not a flake fell here. I think it's very helpful to whine and complain about these things. Surely that will cause our chances to improve. Right? Sure.

What about when you're bored? So be bored. Don't rush around trying to escape boredom but enter into it. Allow it to be and see what happens. Boredom comes and goes, the real you stays always. What is the essential you? Take away boredom, fear, hunger, all those things and what's left? Nothing? of course there's something. Try it yourself and see. Forget about your name and your life story for a while. Who and what are you without them? Don't worry, it'll all come back. Take a vacation from yourself. Do or say things very different from the usual. Like on Halloween, disguise yourself as simply a nameless being with no personal history.

There is something pretty coming down out of the sky -- moonlight. It's only partly cloudy so no snow. Like I said earlier, a mild rain we will have. Oops, the moon just vanished. Obscured by snow clouds. Like I said earlier, we'll no doubt have at least an inch of snow by morning.

Somebody's eating that cat food I put in the basement but they won't sign the guest book I put there. Ingrates. It was a possum once or twice. They like the dry cat food. They're trying to pass as cats. They say,"Well heck, we're about the same size as cats, we climb trees, and we have sweeter tempers than cats, so . . ."

Possums are people too. As for people, they mostly go through life in a daze, reacting to what they perceive in an automatic way based on personal history. Wouldn't you like to make real choices? Don't you make the same type of choices over and over? Have similar problems wherever you go? We all do that until we rise above ourselves. Until we stop that river of thought that goes around and around the same old whirlpool. Break free and float on down to the sea. Soak in the sun and smile.

It snowed, just like I predicted. Not a solid inch perhaps, but a good showing. Our usual, which is mostly melted by noon. Still, if it's got to be cold may as well have something different to look at. More importantly, it waters the plants. Been dry for quite a spell here. The birds seem happy, swarming around the sunflower seeds. Saw a cat or two briefly on th front porch. The thrill is gone. Maybe if the sun had come out . . .

So I went for a walk in the woods and saw three deer. The first one ran across the path and down the hill when I had walked only a few yards. The ranger station at the trail head was still visible. The other two weren't much further along. Just on the next ridge. They just trotted away, not all that fast. Snow may be old hat but deer are still a thrill to me.

And it's still a thrill to see old Inkspot. Maybe he's wise to refuse to become an indoor cat and stay away all day sometimes. we see how much we care when he isn't there. Or maybe he just has a dry, warm place and says to heck with going out in this weather. You never know, up to this morning everything was the same: boring old weather, rare deer, common cats; now it's all reversed: deer common, cats rare, weather different.

I don't like my kitty to stay away all day. I should get him to sign a contract: I, the underpawed, hereby agree to consume at least one meal and receive one round of petting and neck scratching per diem. Place paw print here: __________________. I, the human, agree to frequently look out window and exclaim,"Now where has that cat got off to?" And, of course, drop everything to--

Mother just said,"Here he is." So I dropped everything (listening to a book on tape) to rush out there and pet and feed him. He knows the kitchen's closed after dark though I have put in a motion detector light back there. Once it came on and there he was but usually I don't see anything moving out there. Really now i didn't fake that. Of course the cat often does come around about this time when the weather is bad or he has simply been busy elsewither. So I was thinking of him. I suppose we have an unwritten agreement. A gentlemen's agreement. We shook paws. I'm just glad to know he's somewhere. He must have a heavy schedule today, snatches a few bites and ran. Well, he's an attractive young cat, probably has lady cats and various humans to visit. I'm not jealous. He needs his freedom. Out there catting around. Keeping low company,. Dredging the very gutters for companionship. Descending into the lowest dives. Rubbing shoulders with the very dregs of catdom!

Or perhaps not. A light rain outside, maybe the cat foresaw that. Remember we may try to guess what they think and feel but we might be wrong. That applies to our dealings with each other. Always better to ask than to assume something about someone and act on that. It may seem very obvious to you and yet you may be quite mistaken. Mother saw Patches run through the backyard. He doesn't mind the rain as much as Inkspot. Patches has long, thick fur. In patches of black and white.

Poor old Grandpa, he's a gray cat on a gray mat so I don't know he's there till I open the door and disturb his dinner. The he acts like a grandpa. Or a grampus. A grump. Grumpy Grampa. I suspect he's secretly happy.

I'm getting happy. Starts with accepting reality. Whatever is around and yourself just as you are. Warts and all. The funny thing is that things seem to start improving by themselves as soon as you accept your bleak reality. Then you say,"Hey, it's not all that bleak. Its's only bleakish."

Cats have their spats and so do we. But we can rise above that. Can't we? Sure we can. With effort and practice we can see ourselves from the outside and say,"Why do I do this? Why do I do that? Do I want to continue doing this or that?" Just observing yourself causes improvement. We all have mental and emotional habits. Habits can be changed. Do you want to go 'round and 'round in the same tired circles forever? Try something new. You can always drop the new way and run back to the old way. But you won't.

You may say,"Who are you? How do you know these things?" I'm nobody special. By doing what Tolle suggested I opened myself to wisdom. You can see that parts of this book where I'm just chatting about cats and then other sections where I'm making strong statements about the right way to live. That's when I'm open to inspiration and simply write down what comes into my mind. I never studied or worked to gain that wisdom. I've only made myself available to the Life Force, the Infinite. What I did was read 'Practicing the Power of Now' over and over and gradually started doing what he suggests.

Snow again this morning, just like I predicted. {Note to self, go back and insert fake prediction}. I tell ya, who needs radar? I use radar to cook my breakfast. Saw it actually precipitating out of the sky. Remember when we used to call it rain or snow or mixed? Science is all well and good in it's place, replacing perfectly good words with longer, more complex words is not it's place. You could say it might rain, snow, or sleet -- 4 syllables; precipitation -- 5 syllables, where's the improvement? From now on my weather forecaster will be my nose. I'll stick it out the door and find out what the weather is. Don't we ignore the weather anyway if something important come up? "I don't care if it's a blizzard, I'm going out for ___________.

Maybe I can get Mother to go to the park and see the precipitation still on the logs there. No doubt the deer will be back in exactly that same places. That's what I always expect. Hmm, I didn't go down to the hobbit bridge yesterday. It should hold a layer of precip. Funny how a word makes such a difference. Tolle says to state facts instead of making it all about you Instead of 'What a miserable day', say 'It is raining' [Stillness Speaks]. Just accept the rain (or other precip). It's not like you can do anything about it. That doesn't mean accept a bad situation that can be changed.

Those darned deer didn't show up! After I gave them an engraved invitation. I did send it? Oh, here it is on the table. Mother loved the snow anyway. There was more this time, on every little leaf. I don't think we ever went to the woods after a snowfall before. Just around here looking for a good sledding hill.

Saw Mr. Whiskers. Only cat yet today. Oh well, this weather won't last. We've had two or three years worth of snow in two days. I see a patch of blue sky. If the sun comes out I'll have to drop this and run out with the camera. Still snow in sheltered spots. It's melting fast, time to let go of snow.

12:55 and here's Inkspot. I thought he might mosey on over a little earlier. The first time he saw snow he sniffed at it and pawed at it. "What is this stuff?" you could see him thinking. Alas, only a year later he's an old, world weary type complaining of the cold and wet. The trick is to carry our kittenhood with us always.

So I'm looking out at the cat food and there he is, not at the food but overhead on the roof. His little head peeking over down at me. Seems smaller or maybe there's a whole colony of them. I know, I'll call him Kimosabe because he wears a Lone Ranger mask.

What next? Coming around the house I saw a B&W cat chasing a squirrel and said,"You'll never catch him, Patches -- Oh, I beg your pardon, I thought you were someone else." Because he was sporting a white flea collar. But he showed me his purring license and it turned out to be Patches after all. I had suspected him of keeping other humans on the side, but really . . .

Now it seems like he's dressed; all this time he's been running around naked! Inkspot's out of sight. If anyone tried to collar him they got some bloody hands and arms, I'll bet. But he's still hiding his blushes or taking a nap or commanding a fleet of flying saucers.

Seven o'clock, just one hour till Kimosabe the Raccoon shows up. Whether he'll be at the food or on the roof or elsewhere is hard to say. He adds interest to the evening. The children of the night, what sweet music they make -- wait, that's wolves.

An owl we had too, soon it'll be lions and tigers and bears, oh my. Poor little Toto will be caught by winged monkeys wearing bellboy uniforms. 7:30 and the chicken has flown the coop. Leastways it vanished from the face of the Frisbee. I've been outfoxed by a raccoon. The sun's not even out of the sky yet so technically he's not allowed to be out and about. And he doesn't even wash his food. He's trying to 'pass' as just another house cat. Soon we'll have foxes trying to pass as dogs, deer as cows, muskrats as kitty cats, water buffalo as dry buffalo, bats as songbirds, and snakes will go around with tiny crutches and signs begging for handouts because they 'lost' their legs.

Inkspot finally appeared, lounging in a chair out back. "No collar for me," he said,"I'm not flea bitten like that punk, Patches." Then he curled up to snooze. If you don't believe me, he's still in that very same chair. I'll gladly point him out to you.

Got a little rain. Enough to settle the dust. But is goes to show it is possible. Planted the rosa rugosa seed. They went from floating on top of the tea to sinking to the bottom so there was some change in them. I scarified them after soaking 24 hours and soaked them another 18 hours. And planted them with peat moss and potting soil. Now I just wait a year and then check on them. So much for that hobby. What's a good summer hobby? Something with lots of air conditioning that's paid for by somebody else.

Three more rosa rugosae and I planted them in some gappy areas along the fence. Now I know that drainage is important to them so I put in rocks and sticks around the roots. They may spread by runners so perhaps my work here is done (besides one humongous amount of watering). It's starting to look like a hedge out there, mostly needlepoint hollies, which are showing new growth already, and soon those 2 year seeds will spring up to fill in the rest. Maybe by summer's end we'll have a half fence/half hedge. Someday I'll be knocking out boards in the fence to let the sun through onto my magnificent living fence.

There's a catbird in the cat's seat. Those kitties just love to sit in people chairs, indoors or out. On our 30% chance of rain we got the 70% but it is a little cooler. The cats have perked up. Patches if our living thermometer, when it's not he is wise to snooze. He's one of those lay on your back with paws every which way types.

Inkspot's been hanging around the front porch. At first he was up on the porch swing. Said he really likes the blankets and cushions we put on there for him. He's been curled up on a corner of the front porch nearly all day. Maybe he thinks it's raining. A gusty breeze and more clouds than we've had for a long time out there. I'm taking a day off from watering. At least there's a chance of rain before this week ends.

I'll plant those silly seeds tomorrow. Gave them a nice hot cup of tea today. If they come up early next spring, and enough of them, I won't have to order any live ones. Or get hollies. Still better than replacing a dead fence with another dead fence. Once I finally get the living fence established, it will renew itself, or other plants will replace it over time. Then we'll be back where we started when we first moved here.

So what have we learned? Think twice before cutting down trees and bushes and then don't cut them down. The owner of the rental house next door cut down a row of volunteer plants screening their chain link fence so now we have a good view of a huge brick wall instead of bush maples and assorted undergrowth. Guess which I prefer? Where's the improvement? If you ask me, the owner was bored and restless and had a chain saw in his hands. anyway, our situation is different, our wooden fence is dried out and warped and falling apart and very very long.

There's Patches out in the yard, the other don't 'do' breakfast. "That's so last millennium," they say. Well I found Mr. Whiskers by turning on the water on the strip of wild flower seed. He was ensconced in the monkey grass. We could call it kitty grass, they sure seem to like it.

So marigolds keep off other bugs too, we could put our chairs in the middle of the tomato patch. I wonder if they're still selling them? Thought I might get one last holly and put it near the house so we can see it. Now if someone will just wheel me over to the store . . .

Cut the grass. Seemed cruel to cut down things that were barely hanging on to life. At least there's some chance of rain coming up. Better than the no chance of the last few weeks. Planted some marigold seed by our outdoor chairs. We'll enjoy them whether they keep the knee ma toads off our feet or not. Wonder what we could use as a Patches repellant? He lurks in wait to wreathe our ankles unmercifully. Planted some Shasta daisies, I think. Something Mother got for Mother's Day.

Turned on my little radio to get the weather and Inkspot looked back and forth between me and the radio like he thought I was a ventriloquist.

So what was I in such a rush about? Well, on July 2nd I'm going to turn old. Prolly sit in a corner and drool after that. I'll cackle and say to 'Nurse' that I remember the good old days when I used to walk around. Yes, I'm turning the big five oh and the end of life as we know it. Yes, I'm tuning on Hawaii 5-0, the old television show starring Jack Lord's hair. So I have a month and a week left to live, then I'll be old and just sort of exist.

Who knows, we may start getting rain. Rain, rain, the magic word; they say good chance of rain toward the end of the week but that's what they said last week. Are we a donkey to be lead by the nose by red herring dangled before us by salacious weather forecasters? (They could be salacious for all we know). I'm about ready to throw my new plants out of the nest where they may sink or swim without the pampering had that rocks the cradle constantly rushing around with the watering can of overindulgence. Of course everyone says that.

Meretricious, that's what they are. (You can look up these words if you want, I'm not going to). Those horrific forecasters with their philippic attitudes and Brobdingnagian egos.

I seem to have got the page order mixed up. The present is still the present. We all need a wider view of time. Anyway, back to the salt mines. You may say aren't you working at home? Can't you just take a break anytime? I suppose I could, technically speaking. I do run dry and just sit awhile or go do something or other. But when I'm hot I like to jot down the hot jot till I jot the lot. Then there's overheating. Just do the thing and get it out there. Your second book can be all nicey nice. Get the raw, wild stuff out and self publish it. If it's meant to be, it'll take off.

Anyway, it's loads of fun. Forget about who might read it, that's the future and may not ever happen. Whenever I've planned or foreseen my future I was wrong every time. Just meet your 'future' in the present moment. Over and over. You can handle each of these little meetings. One at a time.

Now I'm thinking of putting another chapter on the 'net. Or I could call it book two. Got a little cold and hungry so I put on a rice dish. Uh oh, next thing you know I'll be sitting in a robe on top of a mountain with a shaved head. How do you shave the head of a mountain? With the biggest razor ever conceived.

Really, it just comes to me. Perhaps if I lived a hat with aluminum foil I'd suddenly be normal. I'll just make sure to wear the metal covered hat at all times. Soon folks'll be saying,"Look at that guy over there in the foil covered hat. He's got to be the most normal guy I've ever seen."

Part of living in the present is writing in the present. I can only do now what I'm able to do now. I can't wait for some mythical future before starting. Thankfully I have a web site where I can publish instantly. If it is meant to happen, my work will be spread in to a wide audience. If not, so what.

30 more pages at circa 500 words each, no wonder I'm tired. And then I had a sneezing fit, allergic to hard work, no doubt. Still not snowing, I've rarely seen such a stubborn sky. I'll tell it to stand in the corner and have a time out. You know what it'll do, wait till after dark when we can't see it.

Inkspot's all chipper and full of beans. Not literally, he chews cat food and eschews beans. Okay, I've never offered him beans. He's a happy cat. And now he'll be ringing the back door bell every night at eight -- no that goes against the secret Cat Handbook. Maybe Inkspot will be the one to stand up for his human friends and throw the handbook away.

Horses are horsy, cats are catty, what are we? What does it mean to be more human? This is not a rhetorical question. I don't know the answer. It's something to ponder.

I'm gonna take a bath. That cat gave me the idea, out there washing himself in the cold. I mean, he wears a fur coat but it's a thin one. He came to eat and then ran back to his pine tree. He's an outdoorsman. I know, well call him Grizzly Adams. He does have a sort of beard.

Yes, he does. Side burns then. We'll call him Elvis on Black Velvet Minus the Velvet. He resembles Bagheera, the black panther in the Jungle Books.

I've got the itchy laigs. These winters get longer every year, don't they? My integument gets all dry and itchy. And my eyes.

I know, live in the present. Hmm, eye drops and skin lotion. All better now. Wasn't that easy. It's all about habit. Get out of mental and emotional habits. When something new comes up, the old way can't handle it. But worse, we only see the old things in the old way over and over.

'But things will surely be better in the future'. Like Lewis Carroll said,"Jam yesterday and jam tomorrow but never jam today." We've got to grab the jam jar and dig in right now. Tomorrow will be just like today -- jamless.

Rather, wait and be alert so you'll notice when some good jam appears on the horizon. This jam may be a horse by the road, don't just zoom on by, stop and say hello. the good jam might be a person, say, checking your groceries at the store, and you simply notice that person, listen to her, and voila, you have a new friend.

Seven o'clock and all's well. They don't say that anymore. It can be all well in your life. Just accept reality. All of it. You can't pick and chose because it's all woven together. It all had to happen to get us to this point -- to now.

Now where have those deer got off to? Maybe they moseyed down to the creek. Maybe they beamed up to Inkspot's spaceship. Or, now this may sound crazy, they didn't go to that area today. I think we should all do some serious worrying about those deer. That will surely improve matters. I did see a four legged critter with hooves out there. He was in a fence. He seemed gratified that I took a picture of him.

I know, the deer are animatronic and the park people put them in the shed when they close the place. That's it! They spent millions of dollars on robotic deer in a park that's free to enter. Kinda dumb aren't they?

A very alert horse. He must've read Tolle's book too. He practically winked at me. I'll take Mother over there and we'll give an apple to Mr. Ed. He won't leave it in the dust like those rude deer. "We're wild animals, we don't have to have manners, so phooey on you," they said. Now I recall the warning sign at the park entrance,"Warning! Animals may speak rudely to park visitors. Do not walk on path. Keep and and feet at all times. No apples allowed in park." Okay, I just threw that in about apples. The only sign at this park says,"Trail".

The calm before the storm out there. Ominous. There should be spooky organ music in the background. The suddenly, BOOM! it starts snowing.

Ah mow throw on a relaxing tape. Nothing with a nap after lunch. What are we all rushing around for? Where are we rushing to? And then we never seem to arrive. Put down roots where you are now, it's good enough.

2:20, Patches at the back door. I'm gonna figure out these cats if it kills me. They must go by the Handbook for Cats,"How to keep your human off balance." It starts out,"An unsettled human is an attentive human. Avoid schedules like the plague. If your human gets you to follow a feeding schedule, he's halfway to taking you for granted."

Saw a few flakes out there. Looks like snow clouds. These white chintz curtains exactly mimic a snow filled sky so I have to run to the back of the house to look out and run back in here to say . . . nothing. Snow's one of those things you just have to be surprised by. Like happiness, if you chase after it, you won't catch it. Ho hum, run to the back again? No snow. Ain't it the way, get snow two or three mornings in a row and soon you're practically demanding snow on demand. Can you really get spoiled rotten in three days? We used to go years without snow. Did we complain? Of course we did.

I put in a motion detector light out back to chase away dogs and discovered another use for it. Once the light came on and I looked out and there was Inkspot saying,"Hey good buddy, how 'bout a snack?" So I fed him and he ate and then trotted away into the dark. Who knows what adventures he has out there. I can tell you that he lives every moment to the full. I've never met anyone who was so alert. Maybe some wild animals but you can't spend time with them.

Maybe an intercom, cat steps on mat, says meow, human inside says,"Is that darn cat asking for food again!?! I'm getting rid of the Cat Mat Intercom! $49.95 down the drain! Why do I fall for those commercials?" And everybody's happy.

Just kidding, the human says,"Ah, that must be our wonderful Kitty on the mat. How nice that we know when our beloved pet wishes to munch upon some esteemed comestibles. I shall rush to feed said Kitty forthwith." That's the way we talk at our house. Don't you?

9:20, now here's Whiskers and Pumpkin on the Cat Mat. Still no sign of Mr. Spot. Hasn't beamed down yet. There he is. After I went to the park and came back. Now they've closed all the park but I went in anyway. Both apples untouched. The deer must've read the park closed sign and turned away in disappointment.

Whew, here's Pumpkin back so I took her some food and same for Whiskers but he rushes over to take hers, bring more for her, put some day worn for Inkspot, Whiskers rushes over there , suddenly Whiskers says,"This is my porch, ya gosh darned newcomers." Then he goes off in a huff.

Were was I? Heads in basement, right? Don't tell me I have to look back a page. I'll wait a while. Well now, Grandpa answered that for me. He's in the neighbors driveway and I chase him and he makes a grave tactical error by ducking into hole into basement. Now more food for you. No wonder Inkspot was afraid to meow or come to me down there.

That Inkspot, Quicksilver I ought to call him, goes toward the edge of the yard and very soon I went to see which way he went -- gone! I know, he is from outer space and, like on Star Trek, they beam him up as soon as he's around the corner. Later he just beams down near the edge of the yard and trots on in.

I was tired of traipsing up and down the basement stairs anyway. Replaced the filter today (15th of Octember) so no reason to go down there. Well, here it is August (since you're just reading a book, I can lie to ya easy). So hot ut there I thought Inkspot would melt into a pool of tar. They still haven't opened the park here in August (I swear it is, I must've taken a nap for several months).

Okay, it isn't August. It's that month with too many r's in it. The shortest month. So, why don't we take a couple a days off it and add them to each of the other months and drop this one? Besides it's a very cold month so the whole year would be warmer without it. Let's get these big deal science johnnies on some important things: warmer winters, a little cooler in August, things that affect all of us. Microchips, ha! They're small enough; drop it already. Here I am, Fred G. Nobody and I've just come up with a couple a doozies. While we're at it, let's just subtract a bit from the weatherman's paycheck every time he's wrong. Those predictions would improve in a hurry then.

And the ocean -- too salty, fix it! And where's our science fiction car that runs forever on nothing and flies besides? Some even travel through time; missed that appointment? Not anymore. I say we fire all the big deal science johnnies and put business professionals in their place. Guys and gals who knowhow to get things done and keep an eye on the bottom line while they're at it.

Saw a mockingbird at the cat food, or maybe the robins chased 'em off. Pecking order hard to determine. When it's so cold the small birds become braver. One of 'em tried to chase me off. A sparrow I think, or perhaps a goatsucker. The whippoorwill is a goatsucker. No, they don't suck goats, they eat insects. I think some of these naturalists must've taken a few too many warming nips from the hip flask. That would explain the grebe. "What'll we name this one, Mr. Audubon, sir?" "Grebe!" "Sir, was that the name or just a belch?" "Jush right it down, there'sh a good boy." Some a those guys should have been put in the common nuthatch and then had the hatch battened down so they couldn't escape.

Whew. What a day. And we're to have record breaking cold tonight. Just leave those old records on the shelf! Remind me to put cat food in the basement. I gave Rat Butler his two crackers. I heard someone else in the walls though. What shall we name rat number 2? Miss Scarlet, of course.

I haven't played Tolle tapes all day. Maybe I'll wean myself off them. Fed Whiskers again. How many times is that today? I write this in a notebook and go key in each page and often I'll read that I fed a certain cat and that reminds me to bring the food Frisbee back in. So, there is some value to this writing thing.